Consolidate or be dropped

Getting ready for a ride these days I have to put on the heart rate monitor, the iPod, route the bud cords through my jersey, put cell phone on vibrate in my back pocket, and then I am ready to go. Apparently I have been making this much more of a production than I need to.



The Adidas and Polar brain trust put their heads together and designed the Adidas Fusion shirt (left). Although it is currently only marketed to the sadomasochists most others call "runners" it is only a matter of time before the Litespeed-owning 30 mile hammer needs one in his closet so he can calculate to the exact heartbeat the precise moment he can coldly drop his wife and kids on their Sunday afternoon rides.



Check these bad boys out. You can be the talk of your next group ride rocking these Vertex MP3 Bibs from Pearl Izumi. They sport an integrated MP3 player that is operated by a control panel on the left leg.
It is also sporting Blue Tooth technology that will synchronize your chamois with your cel so you can take calls with the press of one button. You can switch from tunes to phone with a tap on your thigh. Notice the mic that is embedded in the shoulder. How sick is that?
The shorts come with a MP3 player, earphones, USB cable, and a travel charger. Cough up $500 for them and they are yours.
I wonder if they offer a crash replacement for these. I myself would only mock the poor bastard who shelled out for these. I am sure there would be a line of others who would be more than willing to go Team Cinzano on his ass and put a pump through is spokes.

I demand a Blue Tooth enabled Atmos with built-in ear buds as that is what is really lacking here.